Did you know that in Slovakia, you pay a tax for every vowel you use in official documents? It is considered the strangest tax in history: count each A, E, I, O, and U, then multiply by 0.02 euros, and you get the fee. It is known as the Vowel Tax, and if you don’t believe me… you are right because that is a lie. Obviously, there is no such tax, and I apologize for starting with blatant fake news. But, in my defense, that tax would make sense, and it would explain why, sometimes, Slovaks speak and write the way they speak and write. Let me give you an example.
Strč prst skrz krk. No, my cat didn’t sit on the keyboard, this is a Slovak tongue twister. I know it’s hard to believe me after the previous fake news but trust me this time: strč prst skrz krk is a real sentence, 100% grammatically correct. It is so famous for not containing a single vowel that it has its own Wikipedia article. In fact, in Slovak language, there are plenty of words without vowels, so much so that you can even build a sentence with only consonants, like strč prst skrz krk (which means “stick a finger through the neck”).
I never figured out what happened between the Slovak language and vowels and why they don’t get along. I come from Italy, where vowels are abundant, and we like our words round and 'vowely': amico, amore, Italia, and so on. Even in English, I believe vowels give a friendly sound to words like house, tea, peace. So, it was a cultural shock for me to realize that vowels are luxury goods in Slovakia, and natives save them for very special occasions or don’t use them at all. Ok, I am exaggerating again, but when you stumble on sentences like strč prst skrz krk, you inevitably start doubting your eyes and ears. How am I going to pronounce it? Can I get injured while reading it?
I like to make fun of Slovaks for some words and idioms: Slovak language (or slovenčina) can be hard, especially if, like me, you never had any contact with Slavic languages. But, to be fair, Slovak is not difficult, and it can be useful: it’s a sort of Slavic Esperanto, as it is relatively easy compared to other languages of the same linguistic group. Firstly, it’s not in Cyrillic script like Russian or Ukrainian, but it uses the same Latin alphabet we use in English (and in all Germanic and Romance languages). Secondly, Slovakia is in the heart of Slavic Europe. Therefore, it received influences, but it also has a simplicity that makes it versatile enough to understand other dialects of the same family.
This is the power of slovenčina, and it is also the reason why I encourage anyone who plans to travel through Central and Eastern Europe to learn a few words: if you speak a little Slovak, you can read the signs and orient yourself in other countries, like Croatia, Czech Republic, Russia, Poland, Ukraine, Bulgaria… Furthermore, you can make some sense of the local languages, even if you have never seen them before.
To be thorough, I must mention another unique feature of this language. You might get scared the first time you grab a Slovak dictionary and notice that, with 46 letters, the Slovak alphabet is the longest European alphabet! But don’t panic, it is just an extension of the Latin alphabet, as it includes a few diacritics (like accent marks) and digraphs (combinations of 2 letters). For instance, you will find one S and one Š: the first one is always read like the English “s” in “six”, the second like “sh” in “shy”. You will find one C and one Č, the first one to be always read like “ts” in “bats,” the second like “ch” in “chair.” Even DZ counts as a letter, and you simply read it like “ds” in “heads”. And so on. I know, when you see the 46 letters, it’s a shock, you feel lost and confused like in the tomb of a pharaoh. But then you realize that they are all familiar, and they always have the same pronunciation. If anything, it makes reading easier.
Author: Luca Trifiletti
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